Just what you expected... Reflections on 2011

I started out writing this ridiculous blog post. It was sentimental in every way. I realized though, that all I really want to say is thanks.


My year consisted of learning these lessons:
1. Laugh it off
2. Breathe
3. Remember that you're not really alone
4. It's okay to ask for help
5. Take every opportunity to learn something new
6. Those people that tell you to live in the moment? They're right.
7. If you don't want to give someone your number you don't have to; if you do want to, you probably shouldn't ignore their calls
8. Remember how you got to where you are
9. Be grateful
10. Relentlessly pursue the higher road ;-)


Thank you to everyone who read my blog this year. I think next year will be a little more exciting.


Thank you to everyone who helped me get to the places I'm going.


Thank you to everyone who reminded me to stay calm.


Thank you to everyone who showed me kindness.


Happy New Year everyone, here's to an amazing 2012.

Gift giving

Lately I've been reflecting a lot on how various parts of life contribute to equality and while none of my reflections have turned up anything new I still think it may be appropriate to just throw onto the blogosphere my recent frustrations with toy options. And by "throw on..." I mean "rant". 

Friday morning I read the Metro and I was a little more than outraged, and let's put aside the fact that it's a piece of junk sometimes anyways and focus on the point:
Metro had their gift-giving guide and they had some interesting, to say the least, options for kids. Let's play a game of spot the difference... For the girls they had a Hello Kitty guitar, dolls, a teacup piggie thing, a LeapFrog Discover House, a jewellery making kit, a hair accessories kits and a little mini kitchen. Meanwhile the "Toy story for boys" had a LeapPad explorer, gross-abulary (a game designed to help your child learn new words), a bicycle, books, Smart Labs Weird & Wacky Contraption Lab, Songs Just for Me Personalized CD, a Cranium brain teaser and then some general toys such as a Star Wars Lego character encyclopedia, some RC animal toys, cars, and Angry Birds plushies.


While I appreciate the guitar and the Discovery House, why are we not able to suggest the same number of toys that have educations qualities for girls as we can suggest for boys? Or maybe I should ask why there aren't more toys that have been specifically designed for and targeted to girls that offer similar qualities. How can we expect our girls to be on equal footing if the toys we offer them don't have the same brain-training capabilities that the boys' toys do? Why is this still appropriate?
The documentary MissRepresentation briefly discussed the fact that at 7 years of age the same number of girls as boys want to grow up to become President, but if you ask the same question 15 year olds, the gap between boys and girls is dramatic. This may have more to do with all of the media messaging and crap being thrown at them on a day-to-day basis that says girls will still be judged by their looks before their intelligence. I feel like more people will question this practice if we can get them all on the same page to start out. We need to encourage our girls just as much as we encourage our boys to be as bright as their potential. We need to change what's currently set out for them.


I know it's less than a week to Christmas so it may be too late but if you haven't finished your shopping yet do me one solid: promise that you'll break the gender norms and encourage your kids (and any kids you buy for) to play with all the toys. Your sons should feel just as comfortable in a kitchen as with a toolbox and your daughter should feel just as comfortable playing with science goo as they are with redressing their dolls. And they should all be given books, bicycles, cool science experiments and awesome music things.

A girl watches Miss Representation...

I always believed that the media had very little effect on me; the images that were put before me rarely actually made me want to buy the crap they were toting, movies don’t make me think I need a relationship to be whole and I don’t strive to be the characters put before me – I never have, thanks to my mom instilling certain values in me.

What I didn’t realize is that I didn’t get the idea that I couldn’t do everything – work on things I care about, be a successful student, spend time with friends AND maintain a relationship – from myself. I got it from movies. I’m a sucker for chick-flicks. Like I said above, though, I was under the impression that I would think critically about the message they were portraying. I was pretty sure that one message I thought critically about was the “need” for a relationship: you would see successful female protagonists who had everything going for them but no relationship and they weren’t really complete until they had a partner. That part I legitimately wrote off as bullshit.

But then we have the set of successful women portrayed in these films who put their personal life to the side so that they can rise to the top of their professional life. These characters are seemingly content without a romantic partner and they have reached their professional goals. They are ambitious and confident. To me, they have it all. What I didn’t realize about these movies is that they were also telling me that to be a successful woman I have to be a robot; I can’t have time for getting to know someone because I need to get ahead. Romance will only hold me back.

This is so very wrong.

It’s ridiculous to teach girls that they “need” romance of some sort in their life to be complete, and it’s also ridiculous to teach girls that they can’t get ahead in life if they take time to build relationships – any type of relationship. In the last year and a half I feel like I’ve become some sort of robot. I took part in things and related it to how it would affect my professional life – hell, I didn’t take part in things because I considered how they might affect my professional life. I spent less time with people I really cared about because I wanted to make sure I was on top of my game for work or any political thing I wanted to get involved in. I did not take the time to get to know people that I could’ve potentially cared about, and I had a lot of “Yeah… see… I don’t really have time for a relationship” type of conversations. And the annoying thing about these actions is that I didn’t think critically about why I was participating in life like this. I can’t put all the blame on movies because movies and other media haven’t given me eating disorders, haven’t made me buy outrageous items and haven’t made me a “mean girl” (as far as I can tell). I know I have the ability to see things, to know what message their sending me and to understand how that affects my life.

If I really don’t have time for relationships, or if I really do need to stay in because I have an early morning, or whatever… well that’s all fine. As long as I’m actually putting myself in control of these situations. The second that I’m allowing these outrageous view of what a successful woman looks and acts like get in the way of me being well… me, that’s when I’m letting media skew my vision. Let’s be totally honest here: 80% of the times I say I need to go home, I really do have the time, I can stay up the few extra hours, I can get to know someone. I like being surrounded by people, and I do like romance, so why do I hold myself back? I care infinitely about the causes I’ve taken up but all of the aspects of life can come together, I don’t have to leave anything out, despite what characters in some of my favourite movies have taught me.

I want to challenge each and every one of you (am I still at like, 5 readers?) to look at how you live your life and to decide: is it because somehow the media has told you something you do should be that way, or is it because you have made your own decision?

We all know how the media can affect us; let’s remember to understand how it’s affecting us.