Well hello there, beautiful,
I've been meaning to talk to you. For awhile now, actually.
But being me I had procrastinated to the point of writer's block. But then...
I found this awesome blog today (http://www.eatthedamncake.com/) and I'm so in love with it. Mostly because I found a line that brought me back to reality: I couldn’t look like them, so I could look like whatever I wanted to. (yeah the link goes to The Frisky, but the piece is written by Kate, the writer of Eat the Damn Cake, and I got to this piece from her blog so... it counts)
Reading her blog posts made me want to write something for you...
For the past few years I've been pretty obsessed with body image. I think it happened around the same time that I was gaining a lot of weight and I was really unsure about how to deal with it. I felt really shitty about my body. I wasn't a very vocal advocate for body positivity at that time, mostly because I was dealing with how I felt about my own body and the only one thing I was totally sure about was that I didn't want other people to feel the same way about their own body. I didn't know how to formulate that into much of anything. Hell, I still don't!
I quietly waged a war (mostly in my head) against fat shaming and general body hate. Then I found more campaigns and blogs and social media pieces that helped me be more vocal (at least on social media and in conversations). And I feel like maybe it's helping, maybe things are happening. But then I run into women on campus, or on the street, or just in my Facebook newsfeed who are really quite terrible to their body. Even I am constantly harping on my own body.
Something that I find kind of funny (in an ironic way, not a haha way) is that one of the ways we try to make other people feel okay with their bodies is by comparing it to our own: "You think you have a belly? Have you seen mine?" "Oh no, your thighs are great... dude, look at this..." "You're gorgeous! It's me who has the problem..." I just did that very thing twice - that I can specifically recall - in the last three days.
I have no idea what to leave with you, though. I could ask you to tell yourself every day that you're beautiful, or to remind others that their beautiful without tearing down your own walls, or to write down three things you love about yourself and remind yourself of those every day, or to reconsider why you think particular parts of you aren't beautiful... but I have no idea if those are things that work.
I read another
post from Eat the Damn Cake where Kate said "I want the women who are differently beautiful to say, "I am gorgeous." I want them to believe it."
and well... I really do want you to love who you are. I want you to love your body, and I know it's not an overnight thing - I've been working on this for about five years now. I just want you to try. I want you to feel beautiful. Because you are.
P.S. I get that this can be a much deeper issue for many people, it isn't always as simple as "love yourself and all is better!" I get that. So if you are in a situation where it's beyond the need for a little self-love, at least love yourself enough to seek help. Or to accept help.
