Things we never talk about...

This isn't my best writing, it's mostly just a stream of consciousness. But it's about something I care about more than anything...

IN THE LAST 10 YEARS I’VE HAD 6 PEOPLE IN MY IMMEDIATE CIRCLES COMMIT SUICIDE. I KNOW OF AT LEAST ANOTHER 5 THAT WERE FRIENDS OF FRIENDS. 

DEALING WITH IT NEVER GETS EASIER. IN FACT, I’M FINDING IT MORE FRUSTRATING.

FOR THE TOP 10 CAUSES OF DEATH IN CANADA, SUICIDE RANKS #9. WE TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE ON THE LIST - CANCER, HEART & STROKE, DIABETES… ACCIDENTS AND THE FLU ARE UP THERE BUT WE TEACH PEOPLE TO BE CAREFUL WITH THEIR BODY AND THEIR VEHICLES TO HELP PREVENT THOSE. WE ARE CONSTANTLY RAISING AWARENESS ABOUT EVERYTHING ON THE LIST - AND BELIEVE ME, I THINK IT’S WORTH IT. BUT I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY WE DON’T HAVE THE RESOURCES TO TALK ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH AND SUICIDE.

I’M NO EXPERT, NOT BY A LONG SHOT. I CAN ONLY SHARE FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCES AND MY OWN UNDERSTANDING.

THERE’S A DARK PLACE THAT WE DON’T TALK ABOUT - 4 OF MY 6 FRIENDS LEFT US DURING SOME OF THE BEST DAYS OF THEIR LIVES. IT’S NO WONDER PEOPLE DON’T TALK ABOUT THEIR DEPRESSION BECAUSE IT’S HARD FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND. THEY THINK “WHEN I HAVE A BAD DAY, I THINK ABOUT THE GOOD THINGS IN MY LIFE AND I FEEL BETTER.”

I’M NOT VERY GOOD AT EXPRESSING THE DETAILS OF THIS, BUT ALLIE, OVER AT HYPERBOLE AND A HALF, WAS RECENTLY IN THAT DARK PLACE AND SHE SHARED WHAT IT FELT LIKE.

NO ONE CAN MAGICALLY SCOOP YOU OUT OF THE DARK PLACE, BUT SOMEONE BEING AVAILABLE TO TALK TO YOU IS MORE HELPFUL THAN ANYONE CAN KNOW..

ANDREA GIBSON HAS AN INCREDIBLE PIECE - THE MADNESS VASE - THAT SPEAKS VOLUMES TO ME. SHE SHARES THINGS THAT ARE SO IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER, BUT SO HARD TO KEEP IN MIND: 

“I HAVE BEEN TOLD SOMETIMES THE MOST HEALING THING WE CAN DO
IS REMIND OURSELVES OVER AND OVER AND OVER
OTHER PEOPLE FEEL THIS TOO.”

REMEMBERING THAT YOU’RE NOT ALONE IS ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU’RE IN THIS PLACE. I KNOW THIS. ALL I CAN DO IS SAY - I’VE BEEN THERE.  AND IF YOU HAVE SOMEONE WHO SAYS “TALK TO ME IF YOU NEED” - DO IT. DON’T FIGHT IT. 

HERE’S THE THING… SUICIDE MAKES ME ANGRY. NOT AT ANY OF MY FRIENDS OR ANY INDIVIDUAL WHO HAS TAKEN THEIR OWN LIFE. AT SOCIETY. WE FORGET TO LOOK OUT FOR ONE ANOTHER. WE FORGET TO TELL PEOPLE TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR HEART. TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR MIND.

IN SHANE KOYCZAN’S LET ME GO HE SAYS

“DEPRESSION IS DANGEROUS AND WE CAN’T AFFORD TO HAVE 9-1-1 DISMISS UNHAPPINESS
AS IF IT WASN’T A GOD DAMN EMERGENCY.
AND WE SHOULD BE SENDING OUT HUGS
AS IF THEY WERE BLOOD, FOOD AND RESCUE TEAMS.
AND WE SHOULD BE HOLDING THE HANDS OF THE COMFORTLESS,
TEACHING THEM TO WALK BALANCE BEAMS..”

…TO WALK BALANCE BEAMS. SOMETIMES THAT’S WHAT IT IS. AND SOMETIMES ALL WE NEED IS A SPOTTER.

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 AS I NOTED NEAR THE TOP, I’M NO EXPERT. IF YOU’RE FEELING SUICIDAL, IF YOU’RE FEELING DEPRESSED - TALK TO SOMEONE. THE CANADIAN MENTAL HEALTH ASSOCIATION HAS A LOT OF GREAT RESOURCES, PLEASE CHECK THEM OUT: HTTP://WWW.CMHA.CA/MENTAL-HEALTH/